Couple-Care is a monthly series highlighting inspiring couples in our community. Each couple discusses how “couple-care” sustains their relationship, the self-care lessons they’ve learned from each other, and more.

They are saying opposites attract, but sometimes two big personalities may be perfect for each other, too. That’s definitely the case for newly engaged musical artist Courtnie and YouTube Sports Partnerships Manager Josh Carroll. The Recent York-based pair formally met, after they were 18, at USC, and wouldn’t have assumed they’d be here today from first impressions on Facebook.

“We’ve each at all times had such strong personalities,” Courtnie, who was raised between St. Louis and Chicago, says. “He was posting videos of himself rapping and I used to be on the group wall, oversharing about my struggle to make a decision between USC & Spelman,” she recalls. “We still get teased about it to today.”

At the top of the day, a real friendship is at the muse of their nearly 10-year relationship, while couple-care practices like biking, baths, couples therapy, and massages keep things strong.

“By junior 12 months we were real friends, hanging out more often, and began to take a transparent liking to one another,” Carroll– a Cali-native– explains before Courtnie chimes in. “We were really just acquaintances until he began acting different!” That was, in fact, until he finally heard her sing. “Then he called me his wife on Twitter which I laughed off. Now I’m really about to be that!”

Below, the lovebirds go into detail about what couple-care means to their relationship, how they stay grounded, and more. 

Their favorite couple-care memory

Courtnie: It’s an easy memory, but a few years ago we sat around with face masks on during our first trip upstate. Then, we stepped outside of our cabin to roast marshmallows and play a game across the firepit. Face masks and fire pits within the mountains are my ultimate idea of a superb time, and I remember feeling so content and blessed to give you the chance to share it with someone I’m so in love with.

Josh: Funny enough my memory can also be upstate, and it’s the couples massage we got the morning after we got engaged.

Their individual self-care routines

Courtnie: Me and baths have really tightened our bond over the previous couple of years specifically. My brain may be so busy and stuffed with noise. I’ve found baths to be an awesome method to forcibly decelerate and calm my mind and spirit. It’s also the proper time for me to play back the brand new music I’m working on, since I don’t drive a automotive in Recent York.

Josh: I’ve been getting mani-pedis since I used to be a child. It’s a time I at all times enjoyed with my mom and sister and it just felt like I used to be truly taking outing of my day to chill out. I’ve kept this up into maturity, and in Recent York, specifically, where you’re in your feet all day on a regular basis, a pedicure goes a great distance. You’ll catch me opting in for that foot massage each time. 

Their joint wellness routine

Josh: Although we regularly find yourself understanding at different times, I believe we’ve done an awesome job of encouraging one another in that department.

Courtnie: Now that we’re doing this interview, I believe I’d prefer to get back into biking together! A few of my favorite memories with him over the past decade have been biking down the South Shore lakefront in Chicago near where my family lives.

The self-care lessons they’ve learned from each other

Courtnie: He’s taught me the right way to live in the current. As someone who can lean toward anxiousness, who obsesses over the longer term, and who often leaves social settings feeling drained, I truthfully don’t know what I’d do without someone like him. He prides himself on approaching life moment by moment, daily. I see the way it helps him move through the world and, in time, I’ve begun to embody it myself. To me, the act of being present is the last word type of self-care.

Josh: Courtnie has definitely helped me improve my skincare routine exponentially. I can’t lie, I used to be using body lotion on my face before we got together and calling it a day. Now I’m the one telling folks to ensure they’re applying their every day SPF. Courtnie also helped me see therapy in a positive light. These negative connotations about it may often be instilled in us growing up, especially as young Black men. While I’m still on the lookout for the correct match for my individual therapist, our couples therapist Deja has been amazing for nearly two years now.

The products they’ve introduced to 1 one other

Courtnie: I don’t use it, but I had no idea what that sponge thing for Black men’s hair was until we got together [laughs].

Josh: Man, I remember hearing the sounds of heaven after we first moved in together and I opened her medicine cabinet. I needed to ask her for the precise names of all these products, but apparently I stay using her Fresh Kombucha Facial Essence, her Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Face Oil, her Topicals eye masks, and her jade roller.

Why couple-care is very important to their relationship

Josh: I definitely feel like I actually have to be my best self as a way to be the perfect partner, friend, brother, son and so forth. Self and couple care is an enormous a part of that for me. There’s just something about knowing you’re being intentional about what you must do to indicate up, as the perfect version of yourself, on this crazy world. 

Courtnie: It’s really difficult to be kind to the people around you if you happen to aren’t kind to yourself. To me kindness, compassion, and empathy are essential to flourishing relationships, and my romantic relationship isn’t any different. Self-care can also be helpful for conflict resolution. I often say that considered one of my favorite things about our relationship in recent times is that we’ve learned to “fight well.” We may bicker, but we don’t have huge blow ups largely due to inner and joint work we’ve done. Along with other tools, self-care is an awesome method to take a beat, tap in with our minds and bodies, and reset in order that we will proceed to indicate up as our most authentic and well-intentioned selves.

Credits:

Photographer/Stylist: Tyler Esosa Okuns

Clothing brands photographed: PH5, Nia Thomas, UGG

Hair: Brittany Gay-Taplin

Makeup: Brianna Black

Photo editor: Kenneth Pizzo