Kesha is sitting in a room within the Dazed offices talking about communing with spirits. “Last night, I woke up at 4:44 within the morning and my light just turned on and on and off and off,” she says, her eyes alight. “I used to be like, ‘Oh, fuck me, OK, what’s happening?’ Then I just began talking to the sunshine.”

For most individuals, this interaction would likely be terrifying. Kesha, nonetheless, is pretty au fait with the supernatural. She hosts a podcast, Kesha and the Creepies, concerning the paranormal, and last 12 months fronted the wildly entertaining TV show, Conjuring Kesha, which was like Most Haunted on steroids. She even owns a bunch of ghost-hunting gadgets. 

In 2020, though, she had a spiritual experience that went beyond the typical seance. It wasn’t a lot an experience, really, but an awakening; so transcendent and life-altering that she compares it to something psychedelic. This divine connection was so powerful that it led Kesha right into a period of soul-searching creativity, the results of which is her fifth album Gag Order.

Made in collaboration with musical wizard Rick Rubin, Gag Order snarls with anger, desperation, and a sometimes uncomfortable honesty. Holding your gaze and forcing you to observe is Kesha at her most raw, unfiltered and human. Gone is the yolo hedonism of “Tik Tok” and the celebratory affirmations of “Die Young”. There’s not one of the vindicated power of “Praying”, nor any of the whiskey-soaked anthems that typified her last album, 2020’s High Road. 

As an alternative, Gag Order is like an exorcism. Contemplative, devastating and sometimes violent, it touches on the emotional strain of the continuing legal situation that has dominated Kesha’s life since 2014, grappling together with her own self-directed rage, the twisted machinery of fame, and finding solace in a better power. The result’s her best album so far.

On condition that Kesha’s legal proceedings are ongoing, there have been some things Dazed was asked to not seek advice from her. Still, ahead of a listening party and Q&A with Kesha held within the Dazed Space, the singer did sit down with us to speak about Gag Order, her spiritual awakening, and the life-changing relationship she has together with her cat.

There was a wildness to your last album High Road that harked back to your dollar-sign era. Gag Order, nonetheless, has a completely different vibe. What led to that shift? 

Kesha: In the course of the pandemic we as a world experienced this madness of uncertainty. Collectively we went through a large trauma together. During lockdown, it was the primary time I used to be still, perhaps ever in my life. So there was a variety of reflection, and I felt like there have been a variety of things in all of the corners of my mind that I’d been too busy for or that I didn’t necessarily wish to cope with. I actually didn’t want to deal with it after which put it into an album for the entire world to guage, because I like making people pleased. I’m an entertainer and I’m cognisant that that is my job. But as an artist, I felt like I needed to dig into all of the shit I’d been avoiding and purge it into the music. 

You worked with Rick Rubin on the record. What was that like? 

Kesha: It was every thing everyone thinks it’s and so far more. It’s almost indescribable, but I definitely feel like working with him has been transformational. He really allows for the artist to go fucking mental and almost walk through the madness, and the music is a secure place to try this.

You’re each Pisces. How essential is someone’s star check in a creative partnership?

Kesha: Star signs may very well be crucial thing on the planet, probably the most indicative of who we’re. Or it may very well be total bullshit. I don’t know, but I find it irresistible. I wish to consider it’s really essential. My mom’s a Pisces, my brother’s a Pisces, I’m a Pisces, two of my exes are Pisces, and Rick’s a Pisces. I’m just surrounded by fish and we’re, supposedly, the last sign. We’re like an old soul, after which the cycle restarts with Aries. So I do feel like I’ve been through many lifetimes. Or perhaps that’s simply because I’m jetlagged as fuck.

Your first single, “Eat the Acid”, is amazing. But I can’t tell should you are advocating for psychedelics or not. 

Kesha: With regards to psychedelics, it’s on a case-by-case basis, right? That’s a private alternative. I’m not here to say you must or shouldn’t do anything in life. I believe you must do what you might be called to do, so long as it’s secure and also you’re not harming yourself or anyone else. I even have taken psychedelics prior to now they usually were really beautiful experiences for me. But at the identical time, that song is about how, when you see all of the things in life that you could discover, you’ll be able to’t unsee them. I do miss the naivety, blissful unawareness, and borderline stupidity of once I was much younger, before I had seen the world around me and realised that just about every thing I’ve bought into is an illusion. The more you see and the more you learn, the more you realise, as a society, we’ve built up rules, even right down to the quantity of labor someone does in an hour. Then we suffer from things that we’ve created for ourselves. So once you begin to see that, it’s slightly bit like being getting ready to madness – but in addition getting ready to enlightenment. 

There’s a line in that song where you sing “I’m the one which I’ve been fighting the entire time”. How did you come to that realisation? 

Kesha: I’ve at all times been a seeker. On the age of 10, I’d make my mom drive me to different churches; that’s what I’d do for fun. I had my first kiss at certainly one of those southern super churches. I studied comparative religion in Recent York before I dropped out of highschool and commenced doing music, and ever since then I’ve read religious texts. I’m fascinated with the indisputable fact that, throughout all recorded human history, there’s this recurring seek for something greater than ourselves or, for lack of a greater word, a god. But the explanation why I’ve never connected with a particular religion is because in certain religions should you’re gay it’s not acceptable. I even have to learn to have compassion and love for myself and never only the side of myself that’s drawn to each men and girls, but just across the board, like accepting who I’m.

“I do miss the naivety, blissful unawareness, and borderline stupidity of once I was much younger, before I had seen the world around me and realised that just about every thing I’ve bought into is an illusion” – Kesha

What’s your relationship with spirituality now? 

Kesha: “Eat the Acid” was written after I had this completely sober yet psychedelic spiritual evening. It was like an ego death; it just felt like a really spiritual moment. It was the catalyst for the album. I took all of my obsessive energy and channelled it into trying to find the wonder and magic of not being on top of things. I don’t necessarily need to have the words or understanding of who or what “god” is, but [I feel] open to the indisputable fact that there’s a lot we are able to’t understand. Also, when interested by the history of art, a variety of masterpieces were made in dedication to some type of power greater than ourselves. That’s something that I can’t ignore, and I do think that that is the perfect piece of art I’ve ever made. 

Together with “Eat the Acid”, you furthermore mght released “Nice Line”. Are you able to tell me about that song? 

Kesha: Writing this album, I felt like I walked through the stages of grief. I wanted the album to sound like this ego death and spiritual awakening, [so] it’s not all pretty or comfortable. “Nice Line” was once I got in contact with my rage. I don’t know where this got here from, but growing up it was just understood that there was nothing more unattractive than an offended woman. I’ve never really explored my anger because I wish to carry myself as gracefully as humanly possible. That song gave me permission to finally tap into it. However it’s also about how every thing in life is about walking a effective fucking line. I try to manage not only the things around me, but in addition people’s perception of me. It’s been really exhausting. “Nice Line” is me being honest with my rage, and admitting I haven’t any control.

On the song “Only Love Can Save Us Now”, you sing about the way you’d kill for some secrets. Given how public your life is, what does privacy mean to you?

Kesha: It’s been so long since I’ve had any semblance of privacy that I do not know. I had to provide in to the indisputable fact that I lead a life that’s not conducive to that much privacy. I’ve had every thing, from leaked photos to paparazzi hanging behind bushes. If I give it some thought, it becomes an excessive amount of. At the identical time, the fact is that’s a part of the life I signed up for and I’m very lucky and grateful to be ready where people wish to see an image of me walking down the road drinking a smoothie. I personally wish they might select higher pictures of me, nevertheless it’s out of my control. A minimum of individuals are hearing the art I’m making, because that’s what I’ve desired to do since I used to be slightly kid. 

Do you’re thinking that love is at all times enough?

Kesha: I sometimes get so overwhelmed with every thing and on that song, the verses are diving into the fashion and frustration, after which the chorus looks like a give up and prayer of desperation that only love can save us. We actually need to have love and compassion for one another because it’s key to not feeling so separated. During my spiritual awakening, I saw how interconnected all of us are, like how the forest speaks through a cellular network and the way whales sing songs the world over to one another. 

You sing about having no shame on that song. What does that mean for you? 

Kesha: There have been so a few years once I walked this effective line of at all times attempting to look good, obsessing about my body and my hair and the way well my song was doing. Then you definately’d see a paparazzi picture you didn’t even realise had been taken, where you’ve just rolled off the bed. Nobody desires to be seen like that. But you sort of need to eventually learn to laugh. People have seen me for over a decade now in every which way, so I don’t have any shame left. It’s been depleted from my system. There’s a freedom in knowing I don’t have any privacy and every thing is on the market for the entire world to see.

Pop stars are sometimes held to this higher standard of perfection. What impact does which have?

Kesha: Perfection is an affliction that’s perpetuated by social media. Previously, on my albums, there’s been auto-tune because there was this concept that to be worthy of affection you furthermore mght needed to be perfect. That’s all a very toxic illusion, especially for girls in pop music. It’s not fair to the humans behind the music, nevertheless it’s also not fair for culture and for young women. I’ve definitely been guilty of only wanting to share pictures of where I look hot as fuck. But that’s why it was really essential for this album to be brutally open and vulnerable with all these very imperfect sides of myself.

“I don’t have any shame left. It’s been depleted from my system. There’s a freedom in knowing I don’t have any privacy and every thing is on the market for the entire world to see”

There’s actually a way of imperfection on the record, each within the lyrics but in addition vocally, too. 

Kesha: I’m not a fucking robot. On “Living In My Head”, there’s a vocal take that’s so imperfect. I’m so offended and I got the lyrics mistaken. I then rewrote and re-recorded it to sound “higher”, but we ​​ended up going with the unique vocal. Rick really encouraged that a part of me. I begged him to let me put auto-tune on a few things and it was really helpful and impacted me so much to have him insist that I didn’t need it. I’m so pleased he encouraged me not to make use of it. Because within the slight imperfections, that’s where you discover humanity. Humanity is where you gain compassion. And with compassion there may be connection.

There’s a love that did prevent and that’s between you and your cat, Mr Peeps – a lot so, that on “The Drama” you would like to be reincarnated as a house cat.

Kesha: Mr Peeps has modified me permanently and for the higher. After all, I really like my mother, however the love I even have for Mr. Peeps is different. I feel like he’s my true soulmate. If you do look into an animal’s soul it’s an undeniable feeling. I remember once I went swimming with whales in the course of the ocean and I looked into this humpback whale’s eyes and he began interacting with me and twiddling with me. Those connections make me feel like there may be a god, not in a Judeo-Christian way, but more like there being a connective tissue that’s holding us together. Something about finding Mr. Peeps in a garbage can and caring for him for thus long… And he’s been through a lot with me. There’s just such unconditional love. We’ve trauma bonded.

How does your sense of spirituality fit together together with your interest within the supernatural? 

Kesha: It ties in with spirituality for me. It’s all these items you’ll be able to’t really see or explain, and I find it so exciting. It’s intangible and magical. I’m so here for the esoteric eccentricities of life. I met a bunch of those that consider in Bigfoot as an interdimensional creature. That shit makes me so pleased to be alive. 

Kesha’s latest album Gag Order is out now

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