“Okay on the count of three,” says the lady between my thighs “one, two…”

“Arggggghhhhhh” I scream.

Within the sterile room, my knees are spread wide, my vagina on show. I squeeze Kit’s hand hard, digging my nails into his palms, but he doesn’t complain. As an alternative, he kisses me on the pinnacle: “you’re doing rather well.” I just want it to be over.

“And again,” says the lady.

“Owwwww! Holy Mother of F….”

No, this shouldn’t be a flashback of childbirth. This was last month at a waxing parlour where, for the primary time, I used to be getting my pubic hair ripped out at the basis. And it was Kit’s turn next…

You could ask why I used to be on a body-hair removal date. Surely this could have been a solo escapade – a personal matter between me and the skilled sadist. Well no, I’d argue that what we do with our pubic hair shouldn’t be at all times a purely personal decision. Especially when pubic grooming is consistently lobbied for by external parties. Be it porn, peers or partners, be it fashions or fetishes, plenty of the time, what we elect to do down there is a few type of response.

“I even have at all times had a laissez-faire approach to body hair but here I used to be with a lover who’d laid his preference bare”

I even have at all times had a laissez-faire approach to body hair but here I used to be with a lover who’d laid his preference bare. Full disclaimer: Kit didn’t ask me to do away with my pubes, and even say that he didn’t like them – that may have been a deal-breaker for me. As an alternative, the primary time we slept together I read a flicker of an expression which prompted me to start shaving all of it off. But shaving so commonly leads to rashes, like taking sandpaper to skin. And fed up, one evening I announced to my girlfriends that I used to be excited about waxing. This comment was met with about as much disdain as a full bush amongst 15-year-old boys.

“That’s so anti-feminist” – “You shouldn’t do it for a person” – “If he doesn’t like you the way you might be, tell him to wander away.” All, on the surface, valid points. Yet I’m not emotionally nor politically attached to my body hair. Over time, I’ve shaved all of it off, I’ve left all of it on, I’ve shaved bits, I’ve left bits. Whatever. Paradoxically essentially the most militant I ever was with the razor was when puberty first hit, as if ashamed of my newfound womanhood. But as I grew older I got here to contemplate pubic hair to be quite cool-looking and the pain element ensured I never even considered waxing.

Nevertheless my girlfriends, who incidentally all wax themselves bald, did make me wonder: was it anti-feminist to wax for a person, and weren’t they doing so without realising? They maintain their maintenance is for them, reasoning it makes them feel cleaner or sexier. But is it really cleaner? Pubic hair’s purpose is, in truth, to maintain your vagina secure and clean, helping to forestall the expansion of bacteria, while waxing can leave you vulnerable to infections because it causes microscopic tears in skin which might be an entryway for bacteria. As for sexier? In 1970 it definitely wasn’t – hair was all the craze. Let’s not beat across the bush, the bald look rose to prominence within the Nineties when web porn became accessible. Suddenly the male gaze could feast its hungry eyes on clearer shots of the P entering the V. That’s it.

Waxing is each expensive and painful. Just like the morning after pill, on the planet of casual sex, it’s a girl’s silent prerogative to pay the kilos. Our waxes cost £35 and hurt like hell, the primary time at all times smarting essentially the most. Some friends tell me they now split the worth with their boyfriends. Others lament the wasted money when their dates don’t go to plan. Only when bald balls develop into a mainstream trend will we see a plummet in the worth.

“Partners within the bedroom are only two people doing what works for them. All of us have our preferences.”

Still, I stand by my decision to wax because I don’t personally consider it a big concession. The pain was definitely worth the gain. Partners within the bedroom are only two people doing what works for them. All of us have our preferences. That’s positive, so long as we don’t impose them on others.

But are men that aren’t drawn to a natural vagina inherently misogynistic? Kit actually isn’t, he was next to the chair, willing to go bald to coach himself. While he left shocked at the worth and the pain, he still prefers no hair. Lots of men are the identical, but they’re as much a product of this patriarchal society as any woman. The establishment shouldn’t be the fault of the person and protests in private are pointless. The onus must be on pornographers, photographers, magazines and media to showcase diversity. When girls consider their natural state to be equally clean and sexy, then the selection can truly be their very own.

As I write, it’s been nearly two months since our trip to the parlour. Our hair has grown back and Kit and I aren’t any longer together. But I don’t have any regrets in breaking my lifelong waxing ban. What’s between my legs is between me and whomever I share it with. It doesn’t belong to society or the general public, and it’s not politics or fashion. It’s mine. I’m free to do with my body whatever I like, for whomever I like. To say that I’m not can be “so anti-feminist.”