“I’m excited to be at Beautycon today since it’s a latest space and it’s Black-owned,” Kelly Rowland tells ESSENCE moments before heading on stage for an inspiring fireside chat with ESSENCE Ventures’ President & CEO, Caroline Wanga.

The conversation closed out day two of Beautycon and touched on a spread of topics: from Rowland’s relationship to beauty, to celebrating vibrant lipstick shades on deeper skin tones. And, to shut out the conversation, Rowland left the audience with uplifting words. “I just wish to remind everyone here that the canvas that you just start with within the morning is probably the most beautiful canvas,” she told the group. Rowland also encouraged listeners to not compare themselves to others. “All of us make up a ravishing garden,” she expressed poetically. “And the individuality of every flower is so beautiful.”

And, to arrange for giant moments like this, the star– clad in a gray suit and glowy makeup by Sheika Daley– tells us that she likes to deal with deep respiratory. “Sometimes I feel like I’m moving so fast and deep breaths help me feel a lot calmer,” she says. “It helps me benefit from the present moment and really be where I’m.” 

Moreover, in terms of feeling her best, Rowland loves skincare. “As much as I really like makeup, I really like to give you the chance to take it off and care for what’s really there,” she says. That said, Rowland is all about an intensive cleanse. “Sometimes you get into bed and you only don’t feel like doing it nevertheless it’s so essential,” she says. “And it’s not nearly washing your face, either. It’s all about toning and moisturizing, too.”

But as for her most vital self-care rule of all? Rowland tells us she prioritizes having boundaries. “This is important to operate in our strength,” she says. Moreover, “at 42, I’m also really learning to not doubt myself.” She tries to remind herself what she tells her son, Titan, before he goes to high school on a regular basis. “In case you haven’t tried, you’ve already failed,” she says. “And, it’s essential to not shrink yourself for anybody.”