Goopsie Tag

As a part of a recent treatment, which may have men immediately self-combust when walking near a girl, two individuals caught fire in Goop’s Hamptons outpost last weekend. Like much of the brand’s schemes, the science has yet to be properly explained, but local police are accrediting the phenomenon to rubbing alcohol, “which had been added to candles, causing a big explosion and flames.” Unfortunately, each men’s burns were quite serious, but possibly this shouldn’t have come as a surprise on condition that Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina-scented candles have instigated house fires – much to the dismay of Elton John, who owned “so much” of them.  The writing was on the wall. In any case, Gwyneth Paltrow, who encourages women to explore...