Considered one of my mom’s favorite shows was Living Single.

She loved watching the then twenty-something solid navigate their love lives and careers while living in a 90s type of world. One standout episode for her depicted Khadijah James (played by Queen Latifah) working multiple side jobs along with running her own magazine. She refused any help from her roommates even after they noticed her nearing burnout.

It wasn’t obvious to me back then, but as I got older I spotted my mom gravitated toward the hard-working character because she saw herself (and possibly every other Black woman she knew) in Khadijah. No handouts. No connections. Just grit.

I assumed of that old episode after I watched Idris Elba’s recent interview on ‘The Breakfast Club’ where he and director Will Packer spoke about their latest project, The Beast, a movie he’s starring in a few father and daughter’s complicated relationship.

Within the conversation, the beloved actor shared that his real-life daughter auditioned to play, his daughter within the movie however the role ultimately went to another person who was a “higher fit.” Due to that, she didn’t speak to him for 3 weeks.

Once I heard that the primary thought I had was, “why did she even should audition in the primary place?”

I wasn’t the just one who had that query. Elba’s statement sparked a firestorm on social media where many users discussed the Black community’s seemed aversion to nepotism, unlike other ethnic groups.

One user tweeted “All of you Black people pushing White Supremacist doctrine of “work hard”, “struggle”, “merit” in response to Idris Elba blocking his daughter’s bag, this one is for you. White men are wealthy due to nepotism. It’s not merit, exertions. It’s simply gains via nepotism.”

One other said: “I see all these comments about nepotism thing and all I’m gonna say… white people will not be gonna stop so perhaps we should always start. We shouldn’t feel bad about putting our own people on.”

The conversation around meritocracy within the Black community is a layered one, particularly considering we’re a gaggle that’s on the lower rung of the socioeconomic ladder despite our deep efforts.

Black employees are concentrated in lower-paying occupations and underrepresented in higher-paying ones, McKinsey points out in a 2021 report despite Black women being some of the educated groups within the US.

So, work ethic doesn’t appear to be the difficulty–opportunity does.

“Black culture has notoriously loved an underdog story because that’s where we’ve fallen on the social hierarchy for the reason that birth of this country,” said Latoya Coleman, MPA, a Harlem, NY-based historian who studied African American history at Wesleyan University.

“That ‘get it out the mud mentality’ is traumatic and deeply rooted in survivalism that stemmed from slavery and shows up within the self-imposed opportunity gaps we see today within the Black community.”

Chicago-based therapist Amari Jackson, MA, LCPC agrees. At her holistic wellness firm, Growing Boundlessly, she said she often sees patients with trauma-based challenges that stemmed from feeling unsupported early in life.

“It doesn’t should be so hard,” Jackson shared with Essence. “Patients who report burnout and show signs of imposter syndrome have shared their must overcompensate because they’ve rarely been given a leg-up of their careers. Having a community of support makes a world of difference. Our community believes that there’s honor in struggle and in the event you get something handed to you, you’re spoiled. That’s just not true. There’s value in passed down opportunities.”

Lauren Miller can attest to this.

Alongside her brother, she inherited a job running the Miller 3 Group, a 2nd generation multi-million-dollar consulting company began by her father nearly 40 years ago. This got here after her family’s 150-year ownership of Miller Farms, which at one time, the most important African American-owned farm within the Southeast.

Contrary to popular belief, Miller shared that her privilege shaped her work ethic. “We have now this ‘get it out the mud’ mentality that’s change into really detrimental to us over time,” Miller said. “Even with what now we have been given, there’s still this level of investment in work that needs to be put in. It just means we’re in a position to tap into success that much quicker because there are less barriers to bypass. We don’t all to struggle to earn respect. It’s time to get passed that.”