In a world where women are pressured into maintaining with an entire bunch of things, one which isn’t at all times spoken about much is ‘adultification’ – girls feeling the must be grown. In today’s episode, we touch on the pressure for ladies to mature into women, and the way this will likely impact their experiences of childhood, teenage years and eventually have serious ramifications for the remaining of their lives.
0:00 Welcome to the conversation and our Charity Walk + Vision22 ❤️
04:00 Ding Ding Ding Dilemma: My mum owes me money
15:01 Why are young girls seemingly ‘maturing’ quickly?
28:03 Protecting & Raising Girls + The Infantilisation of Men
37:31 Predatory Men & Underage Girls
47:20 How adultification affects relationships & family dynamics
Donate via our Just Giving Page:
https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/to-my-sisters?utm_term=Bwgv4meZ5
For reasonably priced and accessible online therapy visit https://www.betterhelp.com/tomysistsers
https://www.tomysisters.com
About us:
At heart, To My Sisters is the fast-growing digital sisterhood founded to assist women the world over draw from the community to manifest their biggest ambitions.
Primarily focused on personal development and business/entrepreneurship, To My Sisters is exclusive in its kind by offering women the space for holistic wellness, growth and healing. From coping with past trauma to establishing your next business enterprise, TMS is the one-stop destination for girls trying to break the boundaries of what’s seen as possible in our time.
To know more about us and to hitch the sisterhood for weekly exclusive content and glow and grow suggestions visit https://www.tomysisters.com
Join the conversation and community on social media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomysisterhood
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/tomysisterhood
Come and say hi to us your hosts:
https://www.instagram.com/cdboateng
https://www.instagram.com/reneekapuku
Tweets by cdboateng
Tweets by reneekapuku
Listen on Spotify:
Listen & Review on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/to-my-sisters/id1539343980
#tomysisters
naturegirl808
Wow this is beautiful. I didn’t have a childhood, I spent it taking care of my mom and siblings. Now Im 25 and feel so old and unable to enjoy my youth😢 feeling like I cannot relate to my same age peers from all the applause from “being mature for my age”.
Virna Mkh
with regards to the money thing, I agree that she should write it off but I still think for her to be so upset about it to even reach out for advice the best thing for her is to speak to her mother even if she has to force herself bc it'll help to set boundaries in the future.
Keitumetsi Moloi
I think the issue you guys raised of the eldest daughter really stood out for me the most, because I can relate to that. Thank you for such a wonderful video! Blessings upon blessings ❤️
M. Miresh
This was a bit heartbreaking for me since all the issues that you raised are 100% true. May God help us to protect our daughters💛
Josephine Edward
These young girls are trying so hard to be rich aunties! How are you 18-25 comparing yourself to a 30-40 year old woman? It’s SAD
JibaraBicha
I have a child that I had a little young for today’s standards. So , I am up to speed with how kids are using the internet now a days…I’ve had several talks with them about online safety and body image. They’ve got restrictions on their IPod to a certain point, as I don’t want to be too restrictive and cause an out of control pre teen. However , it seems like there are still detrimental effects with even a little leniency! Feeling at this point that we must live a life off the grid just so I can get my kid back…who knew that at such a short age , this would be a problem. We will be seeking therapy as this has gotten out of control.
BelizeHunni
54:00:00 this has really clicked for me recently. This fantasy we have as women of being looked after is getting even more desperate due to harsher living conditions as well as social media showing that some woman are indeed being "looked after" ( emphasis on the bunny ears). Danielle point about no one checking up is so true, look at all the pushback from men saying that the "modern woman" wants too much. Not a care about the sidelines dreams women sometimes have to park due to living out the socetial designated roles that do not let up.
What NK Has To Say
Love this episode! You raised such good points
Abigail Agyemang
I loved this conversation and it is one that I am so passionate about. Thank you so much for this ladies xx
Rebecca Basubi
This was so beautiful 😍 😢 😭 As a 19 year old girl who's trying to figure out this thing called life I found this so inspiring and encouraging ❤ thank you for being the best online big Sisters ♥ 😀
Kori Byrd
Can y’all stop worrying about how “fast” other peoples daughters are “growing up.” You NEVER see this discourse about people’s sons 🙄
ElizaL LDN
Random connection I thought of: with the death of the “tween” (young girls growing up too fast) I have seen there’s low-key a death of mainstream girl group bands.
Like back in the day when the tween was a thing, girl pop groups were so mainstream (Spice girls, sugarbabes, pussycatdolls, 3lw, girls aloud) and they sung more on girl power, friendships, boys and also sex
but now we’re listening to more mature content by solo artist (summer walker, Kehlani, jhene aiko, sza, doja cat, Meg etc) they really sing more about break ups, men and mostly sex.
Just something I noticed. Did the music change the gorls? Or the gorls change the music?
ClayXros
Having been an armchair historian for awhile, focusing on mythology and historic culture, I regret to report it seems like the current "Adultizing girls and infanticizing men" is purposeful.
A common trend with what is viewed as attractive boils down to capability. "Is this person mature", "can they handle themselves in hard times", "can they care for me if needed".
Among nobility (modern day: Rich folks, influencers) the trend of attraction follows this; Immaturity (young girls), frailty (thin, pale, faints easily), dependent (can't handle themself, unlikely to run). While not explicit most of the time, the common attractiveness media portrays(especially as Hollywood producers age) is super thin and young. Or in otherwords, traits common among the young and the more frail. Easier to control.
Among the working class and mature, like survival minded mature, what is attractive tends to be;
Maturity (they know how to navigate and adapt), bulk (they've done physical work, and thus can work and build), independence (can trust that they can handle themself). Or in otherwords, traits common among those who will make excellent partners, rather than a trophy to keep in your house.
Media often ebbs and flows to accommodate the fact many in seats of power are ACTUALLY mature, but most are older men who want less responsibility and also easy to collect pretty trophies. As communication has exploded these people tend to get outed as awareness rises, but the pool of easy victims is growing at a similar rate. The trends are on purpose, but judging by how fast economies are falling apart, the people who set the trends are gone and only those that blindly follow them are left.
Lisa N.
Renee always has a great quip.
I'm summarizing:
"Why do we raise girls and infantilize boys?"
Love Lady
So glad your speaking on this, the over sexualization on bg is alarming as many of us don’t even know how to love ourselves and understand our bodies at a young as many of us are not shown how to from a loving parent. This leaves many, including myself when I was younger, vulnerable to abuse and making poor sexual decisions. The lack of love and positive platonic love that is not given to bg manifests by the desperation to be loved and desired, and at its worst the desire to be seen as a sexual object rather than not being seen at all.
Armami A.
I guess something to think about here is, how parenting should/could change with regard to boundaries when it comes to social media and time spent plugged in.
oluchi osakwe
Love this so much
Tee TV
Subbed!!! I've found my new faves. Articulate and mature conversation, just what the Dr ordered… I love it here. Thank you ladies 🥰🥰
Kia AKiss
Love that background music ❤️
Alexis Asibey
that Aunty Gifty comment. LOLLL!!! Had me screaming🤣 Not y'all exposing the African aunties
Haychhx
"I don't have cookies for you" 🤣 God bless that Bible teacher!