Real Housewives of Potomac star Wendy Osefo, PhD, is a lady who wears many hats. She made history by becoming the primary Black woman to earn a PhD in public affairs/community development at Rutgers University, and she or he is a Johns Hopkins professor, political analyst and entrepreneur, amongst other things. Now she will be able to add the title of creator to her growing list. Osefo has released her first book, Tears of My Mother, which fits into detail about, perhaps, her most vital title: mom. 

Within the book, now available, she explores her experience being a first-generation American, her relationship along with her mother, and the role her Nigerian upbringing has played in the choices she’s made now that she’s a wife and mother to a few children. 

“What really inspired me to put in writing this book was becoming a mother myself. I feel when you step into motherhood, you come to a fork within the road. You’ve gotten to choose if you happen to are going to boost your kids the identical way you were raised or whether you’re going to take a special stab on the apple, so to talk,” Osefo tells ESSENCE. Within the book, she mentions that while she respects her Nigerian upbringing, she chooses to do things in a different way as a parent.

“I even have implemented among the same things that I used to be raised on with my children. But I spotted in my motherhood journey, for instance, once we discuss education, I think in working hard and manifesting. Nonetheless, I’m not wedding my children to a profession,” she says. “I’m not saying that they should be a physician, a lawyer, or an engineer. I’m still taking the principles of my Nigerian upbringing, while creating the space where my children are in a position to explore different options — and to know that it’s okay to not be one of the best the primary time.”

And while Osefo says she could also be attempting to teach her children a recent strategy to do things and have a look at life, she’s also learned plenty from raising them. 

“Motherhood has taught me that it’s okay to not have all of the answers. It’s okay to not feel like you’re perfect,” she says. “It has also taught me unwavering and undying love. I all the time say that my first son taught me what it means to like and be loved unconditionally. My second son has taught me patience and the way to give myself grace. My third child, my daughter, has taught me faith. Whenever you turn out to be a mother, and also you do your best along the way in which, you’ll gain a lot throughout.” 

The RHOP star wrote this book with truth and transparency in mind. While she gives honor to her mother, who has provided immense support and love from the very starting, she drives home the importance of forging her own path and creating an identity of her own, outside of what was or could also be expected of her. On this book, Osefo sheds light on topics we’re all very conversant in. That features the complexities of what being a mother means, what it’s prefer to have fun one culture while attempting to learn and embrace one other, and the importance of blossoming into your personal from the roots that helped you grow. There are also moments where she shares what it was prefer to speak her mind as a Black Democrat on Fox News, and her experience on Real Housewives of Potomac.

There’s a lot to remove from and appreciate concerning the recent book, especially the bond between mother and daughter. When asked if there was one query Osefo could ask her mom, Iyom Susan Okuzu, about her own story, she responded, “I’d ask her how she did it.”

“She was an immigrant and moved to a rustic where she knew nobody. She raised two kids and worked multiple jobs,” she says. “I remember being at my mother’s college graduation. I even have literally grown up along with her. To have the ability to do all of that and to still stand with grace, walk like a gazelle, be probably the most supportive person I even have ever met, and to defy all the chances, how did she do it? I hope that [my siblings and I] have made you proud and that whatever you went through, it was price it.”