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26 Sep

Will our beauty routines ever be unrelated to sex?

Sex sells in the sweetness industry, with physical attraction the driving force behind most of our grooming habits – but things could also be changing

Everyone likes to imagine that in the case of true love, it’s what’s on the within that counts – but physical attraction will at all times play an element in who we elect to sleep with and begin relationships with. For many of history, beauty and grooming regimens have existed to boost sex appeal and attract a mate, with certain beauty ideals elevated by different cultures, and various kinds of beauty appealing to different groups. Avant-garde subcultural beauty may be about self-expression, for instance, nevertheless it also helps discover similarly-minded people to befriend or hook up with. 

Unfortunately, when a lot of contemporary dating involves swiping through pictures on an app, you might argue that physical attraction is more necessary than ever. But this might all be changing soon. Sex technology in the shape of VR, AR and robotics guarantees to offer not only sexual fulfilment, but in addition emotional companionship – and because it continues to evolve, the chance that we may not must search out partners IRL becomes increasingly real. If this were to occur, we may not even must alter our physical appearance to get laid. So if getting sex was not a primary driving force behind beauty standards and grooming habits, what would all of us decide to appear to be?

After all, it’s unlikely that beauty rituals will stop to be necessary altogether. In any case, they’re as much about social inclusion and success – “poorly groomed” women stand to earn 40 per cent less than their made-up counterparts, while attractive persons are over 20 per cent more prone to be called back for a job interview – as they’re about attracting a partner. But grooming routines might proceed to turn into even less about sex and more about creativity, self-care, social status and following trends.

“How we physically present ourselves is becoming increasingly liberated from traditional beauty standards,” says future trend forecaster Geraldine Wharry. Wharry points to Doja Cat, who recently spoke out concerning the expectations people have of her to look “fuckable” after shaving off her hair and eyebrows, for instance. “Doja Cat expressed the indisputable fact that she didn’t need to be objectified and just that she really didn’t like her long hair sometimes,” Wharry continues. “I feel we’ll see increasingly more young women perhaps shaving their heads and favouring their personal freedom. It is de facto liberating and it brings joy to people at a time when life is tough for a variety of people.” Many grooming rituals that ladies are pressured to partake in involve pain and discomfort – waxing, laser hair removal, bleaching etc. – so centring joy somewhat than oppression in our beauty routines will be an act of defiance against heteronormative ideas of sexual attractiveness. 

Tech has already began shaping our relationship with physical appearance and sex. Although social media has given rise to a thriving experimental make-up and anti-beauty subculture, it’s also putting huge amounts of pressure on us to look a certain way, with experts placing the blame on social media for young people increasingly undergoing cosmetic procedures. Lots of the most well-liked procedures reflect features traditionally considered sexually attractive in real life – think BBLs and boob jobs. Kylie Jenner’s decision to get lip fillers – which arguably influenced beauty culture for the past decade – was rooted in insecurity about her thin lips after a boy in her class said she looked like she wouldn’t be an excellent kisser. There’s an undercurrent of wanting to be sexually desirable even in digital filters and online beauty trends.

That said, not all beauty rituals are about sex. Beauty is commonly a approach to experiment with identity and mess around with self-expression, to be creative. For may people it’s about matching how you’re feeling on the within with what you appear to be on the skin. But that’s not how make-up has been marketed for nearly all of the last century. The sweetness industry has long capitalised on and perpetuated the concept that women must look a certain way to be able to attract and keep a person.

“Just as he dreamed her eyes could be” a wartime Maybelline ad for eye make-up writes. “Recent Yardley Lip Licks taste like Grandma’s favourite recipes. So kiss him in his favourite flavour,” a rather Freudian lipstick campaign from the 70s entices. This sort of marketing taps into one in all our deepest primal fears: if you happen to don’t buy this product, you’re going to die alone. Today, billboards and Instagram ads show models pouting lustfully in red lipstick or naked and wrapped up in silk sheets to advertise designer perfume. And while the messaging has been repositioned, with rhetoric involving personal empowerment and self-care currently in vogue, the aesthetics they promote still perpetuate mainstream ideals about beauty and sexual attractiveness.

Virtual dating might sound greater than slightly dystopian but, at its most ambitious, it could transform the lives of people that have barriers to forming sexual and romantic partnerships with others, resembling those living with physical and mental health issues or the elderly. For others it could come to be viewed in the identical way that sex toys are today – a approach to get sexual fulfilment without the necessity for a partner. This might impact our perception of physical beauty when in search of a partner, especially when virtual worlds are involved.

“I feel the movie Her was quite indicative of how someone might get interested in an operating system,” says Wharry, “so sexual attraction could even be detached from appearance. It could turn into something where you turn into first emotionally attached to a kind of abstract life form which may be attractive to some pansexual and demisexual people. It’s not necessarily that it’s going to vary our perception of beauty for everybody.”

Two people could meet in a virtual universe, have virtual sex and form an emotional bond. In the event that they resolve to fulfill nose to nose, they might realise that one or each of them looks nothing like their avatars. This may very well be a dealbreaker for some. But when a deep emotional connection is already established they usually’re having great virtual sex, it may lead to a satisfying long-term relationship where personality and connection really do matter greater than IRL physical appearance from the very start. People could exchange the money and time they spend on real-life beauty rituals to concentrate on their appearance to draw a partner in virtual spaces.

Irrespective of how much we start to live our lives online, nonetheless, caring for your body and health in real life will ultimately at all times remain necessary for a sense of self-worth, argues Michael Nolte, creative director of beauty insights platform BEAUTYSTREAMS.  “Without wanting to over-simplify, there are two important functions of beauty: feeling good and seduction. Most consumers continually switch forwards and backwards between one function and one other, whether consciously or unconsciously,” he says. “Prior to now, the mainstream goal of beauty and fashion was to point out social status and attractiveness. In today’s world, ethical behaviour, sustainability and conscious living have entered mainstream values so more humble, natural and approachable looks lead.”

Elizabeth Dell, sex educator and founding father of intimacy app Amorus, echoes this sentiment, stating that beauty standards are sometimes tied to what we discover difficult to achieve. “In the longer term, beauty could also be more tied to authenticity or vulnerability, as we’re already seeing with social media, where it’s harder to search out things that feel ‘true,’” she says. “As we get increasingly more distracted by technology, focus and a spotlight to your partner may also turn into top elements of beauty. Moreover, we may value features which can be different, and thus more ‘authentic’, rather more than those which can be classically beautiful.” 

Authenticity and vulnerability are noble traits to hunt in a partner, but they won’t replace the importance of physical beauty entirely. Physical attraction has existed because the starting of time so it’s not going anywhere. Nonetheless, it’s likely the trend for more experimental beauty will proceed and expand as beauty ideals shift and technology evolves, moving away from homogenous heternormative ideas of sexual attractiveness. In the longer term, it may be possible to search out virtual emotional and sexual connections without having to spend hours priming yourself for a primary date. On the subject of having a satisfying and energetic sex life, looks may not matter in any respect if all you would like is simulated intimate physical connection and a mind-blowing orgasm.

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