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25 Feb

Confidence Secrets From 4 Women Pushing Back Against Beauty

Shutterstock / Prostock-studio.

Beauty standards are engraved into girls from a young age. Our Barbies and dolls come perfectly packaged with their hair, makeup, and nails already done. Most of us played with those toys as we watched our moms get dolled up for the day. Beauty seems fun and playful until we evolve into teenagers. Then, a lot of us feel the pressure to evolve to trends and alter our hair and makeup.

The parts of ourselves we once deemed “just wonderful” have turn out to be our biggest insecurities. Our bodies, skin, and hair begin to alter while comparison sets in. This, at times, creates a divide between women, mainly because we feel like we’re not “adequate” to be her friend or due to jealousy. We fail to understand “she,” too, has her share of insecurities. 

If these insecurities are usually not tackled, they only increase as we become old, like a nasty rash we will’t eliminate. We apply more makeup, buy more clothes, and wouldn’t be caught dead skipping a Botox appointment. This mentality can spread to our daughters, and the cycle continues… unless we begin to get more honest concerning the beauty journey. 

That said, below, 4 inspiring beauty content creators share how they navigate the ever-changing beauty industry and the standards it comes with. 

Melissa Baker

Melissa Baker is a content creator who knew the pressure of beauty standards until she began creating her own rules. “Cutting my hair was the primary time I felt beautiful,” says Baker. Just just a few years ago, Baker was diagnosed with traction alopecia, a disease exacerbated by iron deficiency, tight hairstyles, and years of chemical relaxers. Early signs of alopecia typically begin with bumps on the scalp or hair loss initially of the hairline. Within the natural hair community, healthy hair is praised and may include the pressure of maintaining with a typical of beauty that is tough to keep up. 

With that, “I used to be spending loads of time worrying about how people thought I looked versus how I felt about myself,” Baker says. “Cutting my hair made me embrace my beauty,” Baker adds. “This journey has made me realize health and confidence are essential. I drink numerous water. I’m always nurturing my hair with rice and rose water. This has been great for my hair and overall glow, making me feel beautiful.” 

Angel Edme

Angel Edme began finding self-acceptance when she began her healing journey. She describes her “12 months of self” as a pivotal turn towards body confidence and the start of her fashion journey. “I had a 12 months where I desired to unpack loads of who I used to be. Journaling was a technique to face parts of myself that needed to be addressed and get to know myself again. This helped me find loads of confidence,” says Edme. 

Working on her insecurities allowed her to precise her confidence through clothing and experimenting together with her personal style. “I was once the girl that at all times wore all black,” she says. “My confidence journey gave me the strength to start wearing more color.” To Edme, there’s no higher time to be a curvy woman in fashion. Many brands have gotten more inclusive, encouraging all body types to feel their best. Edme adds, “fashion is concerning the confidence you bring to the piece. You wear the garments; the garments don’t wear you. But this will only occur once you begin doing the inner work to search out your confidence.” 

Abby Maureen

“I’ve been affected by pimples and hyperpigmentation since I used to be a young person,” says Abby Maureen, a skin health content creator. Most of her pimples journey was spent with dermatologists who would prescribe her harsh treatments and chemicals. Maureen was given tretinoin, which is usually used to treat pimples. She described the skin medication as harsh, and when she’d express this, she didn’t feel heard by her dermatologists– a struggle many ladies of color face in medical offices. 

Maureen’s journey only became more difficult when she began school in America. “I’m from the Caribbean, where pimples is normal; I didn’t know clear skin was a beauty standard until I got here to the U.S. The wonder standards here made me feel like I wasn’t adequate,” says Maureen. But she refused to let these judgments hold her back from embracing her beauty. She began experimenting with different regimes and sharing them online to assist others combat their pimples journey and feel good of their skin. Maureen shares, “my biggest beauty secret is to not let others determine your beauty. You identify that for yourself. I finished comparing myself to others on social media and every little thing modified.”

Denise Francis 

Denise Francis, the owner of the Self Love Organization, says her journey to inner healing began at nine years old. “There was an argument happening with my family. I remember running to the lavatory and crying. Nonetheless, after I heard my family on the lookout for me, I wiped my tears and told myself to be strong,” says Francis.

This mentality led Francis to struggle with anxiety for years. She eventually began a shallowness journey and took a deep dive into the parts of herself she had suppressed for thus long. “Self-love is about returning to the old versions of yourself,” says Francis. “You’re breaking down the old versions of yourself you suppress to survive, and also you’re returning home,” Francis adds. 

Once Francis returned to herself, she created The Soul Study Journal, a curated book of therapist-approved journaling prompts that allow us to heal and uncover our true inner beauty. “As you teach yourself to heal, you’ll teach your daughters to heal. Through the inner work, we’ll release ourselves and our daughters from the strong Black woman to the healed Black woman.” 

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